Paradoxically Speaking
Why does it seem that God always surprises us? He is the ultimate in irony. I have found this in so many areas of my life. Even throughout scripture we see many paradoxes (sure hope that is the proper plural for paradox). You know them…the first shall be last…to gain life, you must lose your life… God is everywhere, but within you….and on and on. I’ve been thinking paradoxes for a few days because in ministry I have experienced time and again a paradox of sorts in preparing for youth meetings. It seems lately that when I feel really confident in what I have prepared to communicate to the students and/or adults that I teach on a regular basis that once the teaching time is complete, I doubt the effectiveness of what just happened. Paradoxically (there’s that big word again), when Ihave questioned and/or doubted whether a type of program or topic would connect during preparation, I have recently left the meeting feeling confident that it was better than I could have imagined.
Now some folks would say that these feelings of accomplishment or lack there of are simply a result of my expectations. When expectations were high I didn’t reach them b/c they were so high and when they were low, I surpassed them b/c they were easily attained. I however think there is more going on here. I believe wholeheartedly that God is teaching me to rely more on HIM in these situations. He is reminding me each and every time that effectiveness and/or success does not come based on my ability and my preparation and my giftedness alone (and I am so very thankful for that). But rather effectiveness and success are a direct result of HIS role in the process. So often in ministry I (and I assume many others in their field of work) get comfortable with the process of doing ministry. After all, I have been “doing ministry” for 15 years, it should be EASY for ME to DO the ministry. But the problem with that approach is that it forgets to allow for the Holy Spirit to work not only in my life and ministry, but in the lives of those folks that I am have the blessing of ministering to. That is ultimately why I believe that sense of connection comes in the times that I feel less confidence. Why? Well it is another paradox from scripture. 2 Corinthians 12:10 offers this paradox: ”For when I am weak, then I am strong.” And that strength comes directly from the greatest power source I know, God the Father. So why is it that I so often want to do it in my own strength? I wish I knew the answer to that question. I suppose that the answer begins when I continually ask it of myself each and every day. What about you? What paradoxes of the faith challenge you? What keeps you from living in HIS STRENGTH?
